JOURNAL: October 24th - "My Old Self..."

At this point...I'm starting to feel more and more like my "old self"....I am now at my wedding weight. And LOVE that.....

That was such a Huge accomplishment...it's no longer embarassing to take pictures....and I don't mind someone snapping a picture on the spur of the moment.

This picture is taken for my current resume/card....for freelance work. The adventures are never ending...I'm starting to do a little 'styling'....and hoping that this may be a fun freelance avenue for the time being. (At least to build up a working portfolio. Need a stylist??) ~D

JOURNAL: October 21st - "meeting with my buddy"

Today I met with my sweet WLS support buddy!! On more than this occasion has she made me laugh...and have I enjoyed being with her. This day we had hoped that more of the RR WLS support group would join us in Manhatten for a day of fun and visiting...but it just worked out that it was just Janae & Me. (and our children of corse!)
After going to Sephora for a DIOR makeover...we walked up 7th to Central Park so the kiddos could run and play....and Janae and I hoped that we'd get to see the changing leaves. Janae had never been to Central Park...(she lives in Jersey now)...and she had fun snapping pictures of the fun Central park bridges. This picture is sooo fun, b/c when she sent this to me - I had an "AH HA!" moment....WOW, I almost look like a normal person from the back!!! I don't know why this is such a WONDERFUL pictures....the gorgeous bridge...with our kids running toward it....or my amazingly small "behind!" LOL.

This was truely a wonderful day....THANKS JANAE....not only for meeting me in the city...but taking this picture so I could have this fun chuckle....Love ya girl!! The next picture is us in front of the Central Park skating rink....oooooh, were we cold! Oh...we are the Pink clan....I didn't know that I'd like PINK soooo much. - thanks for that too, J'nae!!!~

JOURNAL: October 19th - "Surprise from my wonderful Hubby...."

(click on Photo to see larger!!)

First...a wonderful Card.....here is what it says:

"CONGRATULATIONS...."Pride comes not from the goals you acheive but from the way you pursue them."inside: On this special day, many people are sharing in the pride you feel, hoping that the acheivement you celebrate will open the door to a future filled with hapiness & success. ~ Happy 6 month Post-Op day! Love, Husband xxxO~"

The note he wrote shows you all what an amazingly wonderful man I'm married to!! Of course...most of you already know that....

"My Sweetheart, Congratulations!!! Today is your 6mo. post op! You've lost over 100 lbs.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Way to go! That's an amazing acheivement!I'm so proud of you baby...you were so (& continue to be) brave...and your attitude has been outstanding! I can't recall of a single moment where you complained - even during "the foamies!" Not even when you needed to make a quick detour off 7th avenue a couple of times when we were apartment hunting. I'm also so proud of you for encouraging & inspiring others along your journey. I've so enjoyed watching you revel in the "little" victories -- "I can cross my legs!" -- "I walked 20+ blocks today!" -- "I can wear so & so outfit again!" Keep up the excellent work my love! You're scoring a "10" & deserve an "A+"!!

So....then....he gives me a 1/2 DOZEN Red Roses!!! "There is one for every month of your journey!"Here is the picture of my fun!!! My Husband is sooo sooo wonderful!!! Could never have done this without him!!

JOURNAL: October 12th - "External & Internal"

(CLICK ON PHOTO...for a closer look....

trust me it's worth it, I worked hard to try to keep those pants UP!! LOL.)

ONE SIDE OF WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY: The external..... I wanted to take this picture at 100# lost....this is the same outfit I wore to the hospital the day of my surgery. If you look at me from the front view I still look as wide as I was at 333....but, the side view is where I lost the 100#!! Especially in my bootie!! Wow...Russ and I have had a fun laugh or two!! One of my WLS buddies said it looks like my bootie shifted to my boobies!! I love celebrating each milestone...it's the amazing part of this process....but, also part of the excitement.

THERE IS ANOTHER SIDE: The internal...there are still the same thoughts. Even though my insides were rearranged, and a tool was created that is benefits my weightloss....my brain did not change. I am triggered by the same things...

• Late Night TV watching
• Emotional or stressful times
• Boredom
• The presence of Sweets!
• Grocery shopping (although, I try to only stock the house with healthy food!)

The great part is being careful of what foods I supply our home with. The fear of dumping (even though I'm pretty sure I don't have dumping syndrome) And trying to be very very conscious of my tool" - my new stomach.

BEFORE WLS.... I ALWAYS HATED.... dieting.... when I wasn't on a diet I was eating the wrong foods. Usually overeating and/or choosing the wrong foods.... obsessing over food. THEN, when I was on a diet... I was still thinking about food constantly - but usually about eating the "right" foods. Constantly planning menues or meals... thinking.... journalling... counting points... measuring foods...AHHH! OBSESSING!! I couldn't seem to get away from my nemisis.

AFTER WLS...I still think about food constantly - but now, I think of it not as my enemy but as part of the tool. One tool will not work without the other. I'm still working on my brain...and how I think. THIS is the MOST important aspect of the weightloss surgery. If I don't do my part working thru the internal inventory...It won't work.

"Will I still get thin?"

Yes, but....I will still have the internal war...and never live the ALL AROUND healthy life that God intends for me. It doesn't have to be one or the other. As a FAT PERSON...I came to some breakthrus about myself and my life. Some of which contributed to my having the weighloss surgery. And now, those breakthrus can travel with me and generate new breakthrus....to where I will be able to live without this struggle. It's a process.... I'm committed.

This is my new life - I committed to go thru this WLS in 3D....seeing all sides and dimensions. I no longer want to live a 2D life.

JOURNAL: October 3rd "updated face comparison"...

(click on the picture for a larger view)

I just thought I'd commemorate my 100# loss.... I know the facial comparison is dramatic...Russ keeps telling me he can't believe that I've changed sooo much. I see the difference too...I just think I look so "swollen" in my before shot!! Not to mention - what was I thinking with that BLONDE HAIR?? I'm looking at myself in the mirror...and just thinkin, "where you been girl?" It's been a long time since I've seen this "Deborah"....actually since my honeymoon! I still have quite a bit to loose...but, I'm likeing myself now. I'm looking forward to the continueing weight loss...

"Beauty Shop" & "Hair Loss"

Ok....so, we played "Beauty Shop" at my house last night...and my hubby was such a 'sport'....he did a great job...and after a quick demonstration as I showed him how to put the color in as I applied all I could reach on the top and thru the front sides.....Then he went to town!!! He did a great job.....I've only tried to color my own hair one other time....and it was a disaster!! So, I was pretty nervous....even picking a color was nerve racking!! I did the best I could with the synthetic hair swatches...but, overall...I think it looks pretty close to my old color. It freaked me out a little when I saw it....the highlights were almost the color of our walls!!!But....now it's "growing on me!!" LOL......If you don't like it...don't tell me....I'm still too new in the process...and it is our 'first try!" LOL..... When I need a touch up....if I go for the same color....then if you don't like it you can let me know!! LOL.....
JUST A WARNING:I know no one wants to see my ol' hair balls....but, when I was inquiring with everyone else....how much hair they were losing.... I never knew what some may consider a lot.... or just a little.... etc.So.... last night while coloring my hair - Hubby and I noticed the large quantities of hair coming out! A little thru the process I told my hubby, "Lets save it.... " I wanted to take a picture.... of course to post it!!!If you are curious about hair loss.... (remember, everyone is different) and you wonder what I consider "a Lot" to be.... here it is!!!