Wow...what a journey....I'm continually amazed at where I've come from. It's very difficult to continue to loose weight...and I still have 24#'s to goal. I'm constantly battling thoughts of regaining... frustration... obsession... wild thoughts.... fear... all surrounding my weight. All surrounding my thoughts & authenticity about food. The facts are...I know the skinny on the skinny...and it's not a formula...or a game...it's a continuous work on my inner self...being authentic about what's really going on and surrendering to my King...having faith that only HE can calm this storm that rages inside of me....I must go back to Peace.

"The winds and the waves shall obey thy will - Peace be still.... Peace be still. Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea or demons, or men, or whatever it be. No water can swallow the ship where lies The Master of ocean and earth and sky They all shall sweetly obey thy will.... Peace, peace, be still."

I'm thankful to know where I came from...and to thank God that he's calmed my storm...and continues to calm my storms.

JOURNAL: October 20th/ 2007 - 18 mos PostOp

Wow...what a journey....I'm continually amazed at where I've come from. It's very difficult to continue to loose weight...and I still have 24#'s to goal. I'm constantly battling thoughts of regaining... frustration... obsession... wild thoughts.... fear... all surrounding my weight. All surrounding my thoughts & authenticity about food. The facts are...I know the skinny on the skinny...and it's not a formula...or a game...it's a continuous work on my inner self... being authentic about what's really going on and surrendering to my King...having faith that only HE can calm this storm that rages inside of me....I must go back to Peace.

___________________________

"The winds and the waves shall obey thy will - Peace be still.... Peace be still. Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea or demons, or men, or whatever it be. No water can swallow the ship where lies The Master of ocean and earth and sky They all shall sweetly obey thy will.... Peace, peace, be still."

_________________________

I'm thankful to know where I came from...and to thank God that he's calmed my storm...and continues to calm my storms.

JOURNAL: "Pre-Bariatric Surgery weight loss..."

• "Obese patients who lose up to 10 percent of body weight before bariatric surgery have more rapid postoperative weight loss?? "1

I didn't lose ANY weight before my surgery....and although, I think that it's a good idea - I think this is a rediculous quote...and I am living proof that's it most likely not true. By my one year surgi-versary I had lost over 77% of my excess weight...now, 18mos post op....I've lost 86% of my excess weight!

According to an online article....it's seems to think differently:

• "Those who lost more than 10 percent of their excess weight before surgery were more than twice as likely to have lost 70 percent of excess weight one year afterward, compared with those who lost between none and 5 percent of their excess pounds before surgery."2

BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I really hate this sesational crap-o-la...

________________________

ANYWAY...it's not about a "formula" - it's about working hard...learning about nutrition...practicing a good exercise behavior...making good choices...having self-control...and being authentic with your inner self and WHY you got to became morbidly obese in the first place!

1 & 2 - United Press International; "Pre-bariatric surgery weight loss helpful"- Published: 16, 2007 at 5:17 PM

JOURNAL: "Losing 158 pounds has been a JOURNEY..."

....and a DREAM!! Losing a 158 pounds has not only been a journey...but an adventure.
It has been a time to be authentic...a time to be honest...not only with myself, but with those around me.
It has been a pilgrimage of walking thru many years in and out of obesity...trusting God not only for the trek - but the pathway - and getting real about "Health & Wellness."

To me, Health & Wellness is three sided triangle...balanced perfectly on each side...there can be no unity in the equation unless you look at them & deal with them each equally.

• - weight & exercise
• - food & nutrition
• - my "thoughts & feelings"...

truly began - "Good" resulted in facing the pain. His word stood firm - For years, I hid inside myself with my weight issues - or my denial of my ‘weight issues’....once the weight started melting off, God showed me the deeper fights I had to face. "SAY WHAT?!"
It is not about "DIET" or "FAT FREE" - & I needed to understand more about food & nutrition... and make sure I understood 'what' and 'why' certain foods were better choices than others. Thru this journey I found that a regimen of whole foods, nutritional supplements, fasting and ‘functional’ exercise could be the choice for my new life.

Although I’d love to say that "did the trick"....it didn’t....it only opened my hearts door wider. And honestly...this is where my journey toward wholeness & freedom began. Only when I began to face the truth and stop avoiding the pain was I able to identify the smallest childhood pain - that to some might seem insignificant - but to a little 6 yr. old mind - was HUGE.

By facing this truth about myself...and letting God take me there, I found that I trusted Him more and more with my feelings.

This is where my healing began....and HIS truth....My Lords Word came alive -

• "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~Romans 8:28

And now, awakened from my slumber of disillusions & dishonesty I found...self-control & self-discipline....education & awareness...and the pursuit of truth thru trusting God... ALL producing - "Miracle upon Miracles...& Grace upon Grace!"
No matter what you’re dealing with....if you have the courage to stand with authenticity in the pain you are facing - you will move beyond it to freedom and the fulfilment of your dreams.