STRESS Test...... Aaaah!!!

TODAY – I went to Dr. Fred Maese’s for Cardiac Clearance for my surgery. I didn’t know what that meant until they told me I was going to do a stress test! Aaaahhh! My mother-in-law has done several of them when she has had heart issues – I dreaded this…but pushed thru. This stress test was SOOO HARD…but necessary, I first had to get another IV….and then had to walk on this treadmill (pretty fast) for at least 7 minutes…but he wanted me to do it for 15!! Nine & a half was all I could give…and thankfully the tech gave me something in my IV to get me thru the experience…and then put me in this machine that encircled my upper torso…and took pictures of my heart!!~ At the end, I got to actually SEE my heart BEATING….soooo cool! Dr. Maese said my heart was beautiful. This was soooo neat! What an amazing experience after the hard treadmill stuff was over. I am cleared for surgery – this is great news!! (And now, I off to do the series of other required tests and appointments! ~) Just looking at my heart...seeing all the facets of how it works....watching it beat - God is amazing...what a designer.

Tomorrow, My Honey, and I are off to the Advanced Course ~ I am excited about this time we have to go thru this together….learning MORE of what we didn’t know that we didn’t know. I love this tool in my life, and am sooo thankful for my faith in God…and trust that He will use this powerfully to teach me to see who I am. ~

MISERY... :::::sigh:::::

An Everyday experience can be soooo exhausting!! I am finding that just walking can add a back pain…& my feet are sooo swollen every day!! Tomorrow is my brother’s wedding & I cringe to think of going….& taking wedding pictures that will be in our family for a very long time! I love the shoes that I bought to wear…but, the question is will I be able to pull it off with my edema being sooo bad?! My weight right now is 325#...and Russ and I are discussing practical ways to help me loose 25# -- this way I will be 300# or under for my surgery – it’s got to be healthier.

Big Changes....

Wild to think of the changes that will happen after this WLS…to think of possibly loosing 85% of my excess weight. In most cases 77% of the weight will be lost in the first year – that would be 142.5#’s for me. 85% of my weight is a total of 157.5#’s which will leave me to loose about 30# on my own. – Wow…that seems unreal, completely ‘do-able’ but still, UNREAL.
Last night I went for a sleep study at Total Sleep Diagnostics (TSD)…my family doctor ordered it…but, it will also be nice to know if I have sleep apnea. If I do, this could be a big reason why I could be feeling ‘rotten’….as well as always feeling fatigued, worn out, etc. This experience was interesting – hmmm. You go into this “doctor-like office” and there are rooms set up like hotel rooms. I got hooked up to all these cords and nose pieces…brain reading cords… eye moving cords…etc….I don’t even know how many but I was so worried that I would NEVER fall asleep, but I eventually did. I did weasel it out of my tech that I snored pretty badly…my poor husband!! I have an appointment with my doctor to find out my results. I think this will help my insurance case.~ Just another Hoop!

Out patient proceedure...

Today I was at Vista Hospital…..my surgeon, Dr. Barker, did my EGD today….a fairly simple procedure – for me anyhow. LOL. I literally got into my little room, my anesthesiologist got my IV going…and they wheeled me into the procedure room. All I remember is getting in there….and then my anesthesiologist had me start to count backwards from 100. All I remember, “100, 99, 98…..” OUT!! Then the next thing I know, and hour and half had past and I’m back in my little room. ~ Wow!! Now that was happy juice!! ~ (Check out my EKG tabs!)
The interesting thing about the EGD procedure is it is necessary for Dr. Barker to see the area that he will be operating on…and check out what is going on with my reflux. Just one more step before my Roux-En-Y surgery next spring.
Have I mentioned that I can nearly see the light at the end of the tunnel?? Just thinking about loosing the weight…finally!!
Being 5’7” (I’m still bitter…) – and according to the FDA I should weigh – 140#...so, that would make me 184# over weight – Super Morbidly Obese. WOW. I climbed into another range of obesity when my BMI became greater than 50…..mine is 51. It’s outrageous to just say it all out loud…this journey started years before now…it’s been overwhelming, bordering on treacherous & long, successful at times & full of defeats most of the other times. I think I’ve figured that I have lost over 100# in the last 3 yrs….but, I’m still at my heaviest weight I’ve ever been!
It’s funny to think of how I feel alien to my actual body., I love who I am…I just am not fond of my “shell” I am living in. I am a skinny woman inside…whose been swallowed up by a ‘Fat Girl!’ ~ Let me out !! I’m thrilled at the idea of getting freed from this ‘Fat Jail…” What I look like is not who I am…These “steps” are refreshing…I’m excited about every step until my surgery date & mentally ready for this now…I hope I can look at the positive, instead of focusing on how long until my date. I am committing on full disclosure on how I am feeling …what I think….& what I experience. GOOD – BAD – ENCOURAGING –DISCOURAGING…I am committing to be fully present…courageous….open…& joyful.

Light at the end of the tunnel...

This is a journal & blog of my journey. After seeing my surgeon yesterday….it’s a combination of excitement & bewilderment and careful consideration in traveling down this road. Finally a light at the end of the tunnel…gastric bypass surgery – I can’t believe that I am finally at the crossroads to do something drastic like weight loss surgery. The method is thru laparoscopic roux-en-y gastric bypass. The link I’ve attached previously is fascinating….everything and more you may want to check out about this procedure. – different from my previous blogs…

I have had some fear about telling people my decision to have this surgery. The actual fear is really about what they will think, say, feel about MY life decision. I should say OUR…because I definitely could not make this type of serious decision without my mate…what a support he has been for me! I saw my family doctor today….I felt nervous to tell him, but to no avail, he was very very supportive. I’m amazed & thrilled for his support, now he’s not only educating me in what to expect…as well as giving supporting me in the tons of things I need to complete…some for health checks…..others for insurance reasons – all of which have to be complete before I have surgery. I am frustrated about the ‘insurance hoops’ that have to be jumped thru…6 months to wait …I’m resolved to this now….but, I’m still counting down the months.

FORK in the Road...

When you come to a fork in the road…take it!!! This is one ‘fork’ I’ll accept, one that will make a difference ….one that chooses- LIFE! ~ (I’ll leave the other fork here…)
Today was my day to meet with Dr. Wade Barker…the bariatric surgeon who I was planning on doing my Lap Band surgery. I went in for my consultation a little nervous…thank goodness, my sweetie was with me. As I filled out all the paperwork I realized how many side effects I have…and I had no idea that they were ‘weight related.’ I have head aches in the morning…snoring, my swollen ankles, (which have a technical term, called - Edema .) back aches, sore feet….really, soooo much more than I even care to go into in this blog! It’s exhausting just thinking about it…all this time I thought that my weight wasn’t really an issue b/c I didn’t have high blood pressure, high cholesterol…or diabetes ~ when, that is not the case at all.
After talking with Dr. Barker…(and explaining our situation- as well as what our next year will look like with moving for my husband to go Optometry School. And not knowing what our insurance coverage will look like…) he began asking me why I was not interested in the Gastric Bypass surgery. First, I was VERY interested…but didn’t think my husband would go for it b/c of all the ‘hype and risk’. He then said he’d like to educate us on why the Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery would be a better choice than the Lap Band. I had no idea all the percentages of weight loss…and with the high amount of weight I need to loose to be in a healthy weight range….Lap Band wouldn’t be as successful as Gastric bypass. After talking with him – he was excellent – he took his time with us…explaining sooo much in detail and answering every question –because of this, my husband & I are very comfortable with him as a doctor and surgeon & this is the direction I am going. I am VERY disappointed I am not able to have the surgery in the next couple of months….b/c my insurance makes us wait an allotted 6 months with diet and supervision…and then will approve it. This was heart wrenching….after deliberating this for nearly 2 years…I’m ready. But, I will look at the positive aspects…there is much for me to learn and consider in the next 6 months…this is a life altering decision, one not to be considered lightly.