Saturday, May 19, 2007

13 Month PostOp...


So...it's been 13 months...I'm at 186.4#'s.
A total lost of 147.4...
I'm amazed...and actually feel wonderful!
I'm less than what I weighed at graduation....
Still about 3.5#'s from what I weighed 10 yrs ago at my 10yr. class reunion. It was my goal to be at least the SAME weight as that reunion at my 20yr. reunion.
I'm still thinking I'm gonna wear the same dress...WHY NOT??
I spent a fortune on that "little black dress" back then....and it is, afterall, a little black dress.....so....
ANY WAY...my reunion is in a MONTH...& I'm excited!!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

MYTH: Carbonation stretches out your pouch


"It doesn't stretch your pouch as is. But, the temporary expanding feeling can interfere with the eating and drinking you must do for your pouch. The true trouble with carbonated drinks is, many of you were *addicted* to it, and it often triggers cravings. Some surgeon says it stretches your pouch because that is easier to understand for you, and easier to relate. I say, stay off the stuff, but, keep just one can in the fridge for an "emergency". Often, just knowing that it's there when you can't resist your craving any more, will actually help you resist the temptation." This quote was Originally Posted by DocSanae on RENEWED REFLECTIONS BOARD

_______________________
OK...here is my 2 cents! I'm sooo glad that this "myth" is dispelled....I've heard the rumor too - but it sounds ridiculous. Although, I completely agree...and can testify to the "imprinting" of sodas in my early life!

IMPRINTING: noun - a learning process in early life whereby species specific patterns of behavior are established

Before WLS I drank 1 to 1.5 "route 44" sodas - (all kinds- sometimes a Cherry Limeade Soda...sometimes a Vanilla Diet Coke) I noticed that these were addictive in themselves....44oz. of this type of drink can really mess with your mind...and it was just an great example of my "over indulgence." We'd always swing thru the drive-thru of Sonic...and then get food at other drive-thru's....The other thing that triggered me to have a "Route 44" drink was just driving by a Sonic....I'd immediately feel the craving...even if I hadn't thought of it...or was thirsty.
_______________________
ANYHOW- After WLS...actually, several months back...I think it was last fall - so it was around 6-7mos PostOp - I had my first small drink of diet coke...I remember feeling extremely GUILTY. I even posted my 'confession.' I think I felt like I broke some "cardinal rule of WLS" - and it just emphasized that I was failing at my postop rules...and I was terrified of "stretching my pouch" - and failing at this surgery...and eventually would GAIN BACK all my weight and be OBESE again! ugh!!

So...in the last 6 mos. I've done some VERY deep soul searching & internal emotional healing. - I've become VERY aware of what is going on for me when I "crave" a soda. There is so much around the imprinting... and just like an

  • AIR SUPPLY song can muster up a feelings for me of new love from Jr. High....
  • SODA musters feelings of me wanting to have pizza, chips, burger, fries & Taco Bell!!

Funny enough...I think these are all things I'd eat with soda when I was in my adolescent years...and incidentally when I began my bad behaviors of my eating disorder. I continued these behaviors thru the years...

________________________
MY EXPERIENCE:
I still have a drink of soda 'now and then'....but I do as Doc suggested. There is ONE diet (caffeine-free) coke in my fridge. There is something about it being in there - "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" - and if I drink it...I get a small tea cup put some ice cubes in it...and try to get as much fizz out as possible. I also am constantly 'thinking', -"what's going on for me? Am I bummed or blue? why do I want this soda?" usually it's just the fizzy taste...and then I stop there. I don't like the feeling of too much in my pouch...or the 'gassy' feeling it creates if I drink more. What I think....If you can cut it out completely...do it, good for you! But if you are worried - don't beat yourself up!!! DO THE WORK...check out what might go on for you emotionally!
In my opinion....I think the WHOLE ISSUE is lack of communication....I know that it definitely 'takes two' even though that sounds cliche'....but it's true - It takes two to get together...and two to split.If BOTH are not completely committed thru thick and thin it's difficult - b/c one side can only hold up 'your one side of the bargain'.... - it's just a recipe for disaster.
_________________________________________
I have heard of many couples splitting after WLS....but I wonder if that is b/c of the insecurity in the mate - OR our "new found confidence"??? I'd be likely to believe that it is a combination of the two....
__________________________________________________
I just wonder if as we are loosing weight...if WE feel disappointed that we are not given the accolades we need for our accomplishments...for our self-esteem...and our journey. And when we don't get that from our mate/partner...we contribute to their insecurities if we don't tell them...or talk to them about it.On the other side....this is a blow to the gut to our mate too. I think it's necessary that THEY go thru some sort of counseling for themselves....OUR LIFE CHANGE effects them too...and I believe if they do not go thru the 'emotional & mental' changes of life deals them with our weight-loss and new found self-esteem and confidence that may be difficult for them.One thing I have to CONSTANTLY remember is...as I gained weight - my husband dealt with my obesity in a 'certain way'...and now that I'm thin...he has to deal with that AS WELL.... This is NOT ONLY my journey....but the journey of my entire family! Just as my weight affected my life...it affected my husbands and daughters life. The same is true of my weight - loss.....
__________________________________________________
I'm still processing thru all of this....PLEASE KNOW, this is not directed to ANYONE in particular...just my ramblings of fluid thought & how I am processing my own journey with my issues with my Spouse.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

A Word to the NEWBIE of WLS...

If there was ANYTHING I could say to you "Newbies" is DO THE HEALING WITHIN - the outside success will come....
It's sooo important to get to the 'heart of the matter' of "WHY AM I OBESE??"
__________________________________
I am 13mos PostOp...I'm still working on this question....
it is an ON GOING process....don't be afraid of that part of your journey.
I tend to think it's the MOST IMPORTANT part....the inner work you do in the 'early months' could make the whole difference in your food struggle for the rest of your life!!!
I'd even go as far to say....this step is THE MOST important step in ANY weight loss program.