Sunday, November 13, 2005

Letter from Gramm....


Well...I got a letter from Gramm today, and now I realize why I've been a little hesistant in telling my friends and family about my decision in having Gastric Bypass Surgery.

I am soooo "done" with the dieting scene...and this FINALLY has given me a light at the end of my tunnel...The voice in my head is constantly talking...and of course I am worried about being accepted and respected for my decision. I think some people think that 'fat people' go for the knife for an easy fix. It's not that way...in no way will this be an easy fix...It will take A TON of work to get thru the emotional eating baggage that I have...my mind will be the same and that is where the issues are. I just know that if my weight doesn't get off...in 5 years I will be in big trouble. And that is gaurenteed even if I stay this weight at 325!

Both my parents deal with weight issues...my uncle is very heavy...and I know my other family members have dealt with weight...but, as I know....I am one of the 'heaviest' members in my family beside my uncle...and my cousin Kim from my dad's brother. (Although...I think SHE may have had gastric bypass surgery a couple years ago!!~ hmmm...I'll have to check that out....I think she was very very large the last time I saw her...) Anyway...I've told a few very close friends....and all has been well. All were very very supportive! ~ What a blessing. I've told my sister, Kat...my brothers, Rob & Kenn. My Dad & Step-Mom -were sooo great & very supportive! I told my Gramm when I was in SA, at my brothers wedding...and asked her not to tell my Mom....I want the opportunity to tell my Mom...and need some time to prepare myself for if she is against this for my life. (I know she has her own thoughts on this subject...one of the girls in her office had the surgery, and her commits to me were very critical - and it didn't sound too accepting...and she didn't sound like she respected the decision.) I'm afraid this will be my situation as well...so, I think my husband and I have decided that we will sit down and talk to both, my mom and step-dad at the same time over Christmas. ( I think it will be very little time until my surgery by then...so, I won't have to worry if she doesn't approve!

Now…the point – I think Gramm may be concerned about my decision….she sent me a letter and a article about the pros and cons of the surgery…and highlighted her areas of concern. She didn’t tell me NOT to have the surgery…I can just tell that she is worried. It sounds as if she has talked to my aunts on the subject. I just hope she asked them to keep silent…and that I will be the first to tell my Mother…but, now…I’m not sure that will be possible~ oh, well….I’m not going to fret over it…what happens –happens!
I’m still going to have the surgery in about 4 months!! I go in for an appointment with my Dr. in a few days to hear the results of my CPap testing…and then hopefully I will get a machine and it will not be too costly!!~

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